My blog

feel diffrent

2011-06-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

I cant help to feel that since yesterday ....i feel...diffrent not only did this kind women cut my hair she in a strange way ...changed my life i feel like i can see things more clearly like i see the light. Yea people lauphed but in they end they were just kidding i dont realy care what they say im they one hue choose too cut my hair i like it the lady that made all of it happen her name is carol she is very sweet, down to earth, beautiful, funny and nice we are basically friends now. I thanked her for the hair cut by texting her she responded and said i was so sweet lol im glad i met her other wise i would not feel the way i due today great lol.

.... thank you carol,
sincerely; henri ariza

Tattoos

2011-06-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

Tattoos are a way of people expressing themselves in a way of art sometimes it could be something they like that is personal or just thik it would be cool to have on thier body. People get memmos, names , a famly memmber anything u could think of you can get it tattooed on your body basicaly me personaly i like tattooes why?. Because they show how beautiful art is and how you can express yourself with them.

To some people tattooes are bad they think it has to due with gang vilolence, or something related with the devil truth is no it could be i dont know what your intentions on your tattooes are i dont judge maybe they due have to due with one of those things but to some people tattooes are a sigh of bieng seen as a bad kid, a ingenerous, a neusince. Sometimes if your getting a job tattooes are a problem why? Because it shows the person thats willing to hire you that you have tattooes maybe in a gang or due drugs or kill....how could he noe? Hes thinking bout not hiring you just for the fact that you have tattooes see how tattooes in a way are bad but hopefully you will make the right discicion for the right tatts, causes, reasons.

still into somethings

2011-05-27T09:50:00.000-07:00

I may look diffrent now well to me i look like my brothers ...nice well dressed i guess lol. Theres nothing wrong with switching it up now and then but yea even though i stoped skateboarding a little and i play basketball more does not mean i completely changed i still listen to rock music not alott but 50% they other 50% is drake,lil wayne,ace hood, stuff like that. But in a way rock will always be a part of me u may not see it if u meet me but thats what they beauty of getting to know someone is they suprise you and you learn moe about them....cant judge a book by its cover.

Coming out

2011-05-27T09:34:00.000-07:00

1.The phrase i looked into the mirror and i looked like one of the guys from the goonies.
2.If i could speak to homophobics i would speak to them about why they hate gay people theres nothing wrong wih it i would make them see it in a diffrent way in a positive way.

The Break-in: boyfriend’s Story

2011-05-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

im sorry ...it was wrong for going into your account i should have had more trust in you im so truely sorry...i was wrong i was a fool i was wrong...please forgive me im sorry...i wont due it anymore i learned my lesson it wont happen anymore ...i dont want to loose you you mean the world too me sweety please understand. I cant live without you i need you in my life without you i think i would die because not bieng beside you is enouph to leave me breathless in death i cant breath when your not with me i need you like i need a heart to be alive....i feel dead when your not by my side you are the air i breath you are the sun light shining upon my face you keep me warm you are the sky and i am the horizon together we make the world look like a better place. The world is a horrible place because its going to be impossible to be on it without....you....
...im sorry

last words...

2011-05-24T11:36:00.000-07:00

Just go ....things arent how they use to be..just leave...go and dont come baq

the break in :boy friends story

2011-05-17T11:26:00.000-07:00

1.i picked c. Just ask her. Her reaction will say it all. i picked it because its that simple and if you find out she was lying just leave it alone and walk away because if she due it once she will due it again just leave her alone and move on.
2.Other people would steal, invade privacy ,tell lies , for example the person could hack a website and steal valuable information and possibly money.
3.Your privacy is important because its like your personal info that nobody but you is suppose too know so for others too see it would be a big deal. If my friends had my password to my profiles yea i would care because they would write something inapropriate that is not true or act immature and change my password.i dont have a friend that knows my pass word why? i dont trust anyone with my personal info not that i have anything to hide its just none of there buisness.

nike air max griffey

2011-04-27T08:11:00.000-07:00

I cuffed me a pair of the new nike griffeys i stayed over at my dads it was ok this whole week was type good but after that day....things got better chilled with some friends made new friends and it was good. This past week was the best lol im kinda stressed out because of how the test is like right around the corner reading not so much but math im stressing i need to study hard for math i dont want to go to summer school if anything....i need a vacation but right now i wanna see how things go in school things are calmer finally.

like a poison

2011-04-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

well i sprained my ancle it hurts ...realy badly trying to kick my friends ***!!! i did and well it hurts ive been through worse but its like a never ending sharp pain in your ancle. That just continues and does not stop the funny thing about pain is...if you resist it will hurt more...if you let it spread without fighting it it will be slower it will hurt less like a python when it pierces its fangs into your arm. Its a sharp pain your in pain you can feel the poison shooting through your arm the more you resist the faster you will die and the faster it spreads through out your body ...but if you sit still you will surely have the last 3 to 4 minutes for them to rush you to the emergency room and get the poison out as soon as possible before it reaches the heart. I sat still....it hurt...it feels so...agonizing it cant be helped and knowing that made me sweat and curl up into a ball ...i took it..like a man ive been through worse but i took it...now im limping and the pain is fading slowly its hard too walk with one foot with no support or help especialy if your trying to get somewhere i feel the pain and frustration of those who lost their foot...its not easy nothing is...pain hurts but its only making me stronger each day.

early

2011-03-29T11:26:00.000-07:00

Im skateboarding then when i get back home i get a phone call its my dad he says hi and how i am doing we talk for a while then he ...drops a bomb on me. He tells me hes leaving i ask where and he says california im standing there in shock im happy, yet sad im happy for him and how hes gonna get too see his mom and dad which is my grandpa and my grandma and his sister and brothers which are my aunt,uncles he said he wanted to leave because he was unhappy in new york i guess same reasons as myne i cant get mad if thats going to make him happy then i think he should go just relax and take some time off thing is...hes staying and thats what makes me sad because im not gonna be able to see him for a while. But i guess ill see him later then wish i could go with him but sadly i cant im gonna miss him...alott. I just got good yet bad news ...thats life.

Rock, paper, scissors

2011-03-11T09:51:00.000-08:00

The computer might be using strategies like for example if you put rock it copys you on the next try or it might be in order like rock,scissors,paper or paper,rock,scissors. Like it could be in a random order or it just gets lucky or i dont know what to tell you honestly rock, paper, scissors is a game of guessing and in order to win well there isint any order there isint a cheat its a test of your luck and thats about it.

my weaknesses

2011-03-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

I hate how my weaknesses got to me i just find it weird how after all this time the tears finally came out. Why did it take so long? ...why now? ...i dont know but in a wierd way i feel better i guess all the depression about my dad and stuff....just poured out i feel a little better but i kinda still dont feel completely ok i just want to be loved i want too feel loved ...i feel like the little kid inside of me is sad,lonely misses his parents friends has nobody and just wants somebody to love him to make him feel better. To make him feel like he does not have a care in the world at all like nothing can stop him like nothing can hurt him to change him into a more...happyer person just happy...Is that too much to ask for ?....Is it...because if so tell me what too due ill do anything to be happy ...please take my feelings into consideration hug me....kiss me...tell me its ok tell me......everything....will be ok i know nothing lasts forever but im ditermined to make it work forever. I know i can be happy but why ....due i keep wanting to cry...please ...dont just stand there ...and watch me cry....dont walk away please dont walk away sweety ...please take my feelings into consideration see it from my point of view ...i know you have been through alot too babe...i understand that the last thing you need is more and more arguments... But what you dont see is that ...what happened with me was not your fault ...at all....i just wanted too cry why? Because i cant hold in my emotions in anymore im sad....and i just want to feel better i cant bottle it up ...im sorry the tears came out it was not your fault im sorry i cryed im sorry if i hurt your feelings im sorry i left im sorry i cant speak too you ... Im speechless im sorry i let my sensitivity get too me at that time ...place...i just felt like you could help me....i felt like i could tell you anything...and everything like i could trust you with my emotions and fears,tears,crys,problems,feelings.....my all ...im sorry if i hurt your feelings im so sorry...

miss him

2011-03-04T09:30:00.000-08:00

I miss your chubby self lol i miss your stupidity your humping of my bed lol he would randomly barge in my room when he just bought something nice or something good happened too him. He makes me lauph so badly lol i miss my brother brandon wish he still lived in ny i hope he comes baq i wonder what hes doing probably something dumb lol i miss you brandon.

crazy week

2011-03-01T11:29:00.000-08:00

this week has been wierd and fun lol i partyed allot it was sick i went to the movies, spent time with family and saw my father hes ok but its funny how we have the same problems. Well i dont know but im done with my problems i guess i finally knocked sence into my head i never thought i would see the day that i would move on and stop living in the past but i guess you just have to be patient im ok things are finally calm and ok. I dont know why i could not see it sooner...but im good just have to due my work pass and then ill see what happens next cant wait for this summer.

whats going to happen too me

2011-02-18T09:46:00.000-08:00

I wonder what im gonna be like in the future i have a feeling im still gonna go with the sk8r/rock star look and my hairs still going too be long but look wayyy better...like oliver skyes (: i wish! i hope! will i have piercings?. If so SNAKE BITES!!! two each side of my bottom lip color black! i like the color black no color can beat how crual and pain full the color black is my favorite color hmm...i have a feeling im going to be skateboarding alott! like ryan scheckler or tony hawk or ama be realy good at my guitar that i might start a band why not! im going too be very stoked if so! lol. It has too be one of those two rockstar or sk8r orr chef just like my dad im not going to have a crappy job i want too due something i like something fun something that interests me theres soo many possibilitys i dont know where to start lol.

cloudy

2011-02-18T09:21:00.000-08:00

I feel like im in a cloudy cloudy place and i just cant find my way out like its really dark and cold and all i can due is keep and keep running up shiny clear floating stairs there in a round pattern leading more into the dark sky and i keep and keep and keep keep running sometimes walk and then just till im tierd slowly keep going up and up the stairs. They surprising thing is i never stop....im killing myself just still going i ask myself i should take a break but i push myself to keep going im suffering and im doing it too myself i have too much hope too much curiousity too know whats up there i just want too know whats past the mist its so interesting its killing me im wondering will i ever make it too the top?. So here i am still running up im starving ..cant breath ...heart hurts and im lonely its just me i just want to leave out of this place...i look up to the sky...and maybe ill feel better...soon.

feelings

2011-02-15T11:23:00.000-08:00

I feel like every time im getting closer and closer something has too go wrong like its confusing, frusterating its too much to take in sometimes they only way i can feel better is if i start destroying stuff it feels good breaking stuff it takes all the anger away well...most of it. I want things to be o.k but why are they not? wish things could be that way but they cant i dont know all i know is i dont due anything wrong i just be with friends all day i like my friends i have great friends at times i feel lonely...like i need somebody to love or love me why is love such a great feeling ...i love ...but when your heart breaks you start crashing down clouds from heaven too earth from earth too hell its cold in hell well....at least my hell...its dark ...,stormy....dead everything died or is dying and im in the middle of no where...how did i get here?. I got here...because...i died...from a broken heart im cold....and your not there too hold me...anymore the tears have dried out and i have no pulse...i cant feel.....anything im just on the dirt on my knees and all i can due....is hope.

i wonder

2011-02-04T09:47:00.000-08:00

I wonder due you ever look back at the good memorys due you think of me when im thinking of you when i stay up at night starring at the ceiling thinking if your dreaming of me or thinking of me awake. Due you look at your side and almost feel me there in your arms like i due due you wish that you could just have me appear next too you in your arms like magic due you ever just want too kiss me as much as i want too kiss you and just keep kissing you all night due you want to hold me as much as i want to hold you...forever would you jump if i fell off a plane and catch me like i would catch you if you drowned would i catch you...of course i would...i would jump in the deepest ocean swim down as far as i could just to grab your hand and take you baq to shore and if i couldint save you only myself if i had to let you go to live....i would...drown with...you ...i would die...holding you...i would do anything and everything out of...love...for you...starr hernandez..

friends far away

2011-02-04T09:34:00.000-08:00

I miss my old friends from cali i wanna go and just hang out like we use too when i lived there just skateboard for a while on a sunny day then when the ice cream truck passes through buy cheetos the hott ones with warm cheese on the top and eat them with a kool aid jammer and talk about funny things or things too due in the future. We would lauph and chill and when were done eating skateboard some more till we just could not skate anymore those were great days ...days when i did not have a care in the world things were perfect i miss my friends johhny,anthony,kenny, miss them...maybe one day ill see them again.

on my mind

2011-02-02T08:01:00.000-08:00

Snow it sucks especialy when have new skateboarding sneakers its like you want to skate in them as soon as possible but you cant because its freaking freezing out there cant the sun just come down and melt it all away...my family is weird in a god way...we were dancing to techno in the car on the way to mc donalds. It amazes me how different we are from other familys not saying myne is the best because we have our problems too but im just thankful i have a family and a place to call my own i like how i establish this relationship between brother and sister with my cousins it realy helps us get closer. I wonder whats going to happen in 3 years are we realy going to die or are we going to livelong enouph to have a happy life like it would be realy sad if it just ended in a flash to have our lifes taken away. I wonder if i will see kevin again theres no reason in living life if he wasent alive and in all honesty i can say all i need is him to survive in this cold dead place we call earth i find it funny how alone i feel like i cant reach heaven but when hes with me nothing seems impossible... Bring me the horizon hmm...what can i say about them i realy realy realy!!! want to go to one of thier concerts but just havent had the time it sux ...at least come to union square that would be asome at least bless the fall dude.

secret spot..

2011-02-01T11:20:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you want to due things that can change the way you think of the world around you i find it realy interesting how i look at a spot a nice lonely, deserted, dark but a little bit of light spot and just think hey a drum set would fit nicely in that spot or guitar maybe a piano. Maybe in my spare time in school instead of doing nothing i can go in that spot by myself and play some music or learn how to use these instruments its not such a bad idea. But i keep thinking how am i gonna make it happen i realy want to having some alone time making music the kind that i like rock music would be an awesome idea. How can i have the auditorium to myself? with nobody there just me alone nobody bothering just me making music in peace i realy want to make this happen i hope the school lets me.

the nike sbs that got away ).:

2011-01-31T08:14:00.000-08:00

So im on my way to blades and its awsome just rocking out to my ipod and enjoying the beautiful weather so i walk in blades and i see all my skater buddies i say sup they say sup i walk up to the nike sb section. So many choices they dont look that good i was looking at one pair of shoes but i already had them i dont like getting the same pair of shoes so i saw these blue blazers i liked them. And they were 2010 series so i said ok there sick ill get them and as i walk to the counter i see these black and orenge and there on sale for like 40$ i was like .....DUDE!!!. I started freaking out they looked so sick i asked if they had size 8 and a half he said....nope last size is 6. i was petrafied so i just left with the blue blazzers i was so bummed out but at least i got new pair lol.

sorrys

2011-01-31T08:09:00.000-08:00

At they end of each and every day if done something wrong to someone ...apologize its they only way you will make things better its hard to say sorry to someone you love because you hurt them. But its they only way i hate how if you dont theres still consicuences its like a warm kind of darkness eating you from the inside slowly...i dont like this feeling ...no one does it hurts you and sometimes the others you have to stop it before it stops your heart....im sorry

big brother

2011-01-21T09:51:00.000-08:00

1.People have the right to privacy when there alone.
2.When there in a safe place where people wont bother them.
3. The best place to privacy is at home.

People give up the right to privacy when someone is writing something personal sometimes they decide its funny or it would be fun to show everyone what the paper says.If its personal or not the best way to avoid this is by having privacy like at home , a deserted place, somewhere where nobody will bother you.

I dont realy have one...

i need you...

2010-12-14T11:17:00.000-08:00

I hate growing up honestly i hate being 15 i hate the fact that life is so hard i just want to feel like i did when i was 7 ...FREE!!! i want to feel happy again honestly i due i just want to be happy i want to smile. I want to have something to look forward too when i wake up not wake up to another boring useless day of dreams fading i just hate the agony im always so paranoid i wish someone can come into my life and make it all better i need a best friend i guess nobody can due things on thier own because when i think of a special someone. He can never be replaced ive said it before and ill say it again ...kevin...hes like they only one that can make everything better i miss lauphing i miss him bieng by my side and me by his i miss how he made each and every day the ...best day...of my....life. What kills me the most is that we got separated ...by fate i wish he was still by my side i hate this...all ...kevin...please...come back
....i need you...things are falling apart

Blood diomand 4

2010-12-13T08:18:00.000-08:00

Blood diomand 3

2010-12-10T09:54:00.001-08:00

blood diomand 2

2010-12-07T11:31:00.000-08:00

the rebbels would rape the women and if we buy the diomands were supporting them and the slavery will go on the least we can due is stop for the sake of the children and wifes and the people its not right and all becouse we buy diomands.

words from lead singer of bring me the horizon, oliver sykes,... throw your diomands in the sky!!! well stay ...gold forever..

Blood Diamonds Part 1

2010-12-06T08:34:00.000-08:00

you need a doctor baby ...you scared?

2010-12-04T09:41:00.000-08:00

Oh my God,
oh my God,
if only he knew,
if only he knew,
if only he knew about the world
without the bullsh*t and the lies.

We could've saved him,
they could've saved me.
But instead I'm here drowning
in my own f***ing! mind,
and I'll be damned if you're the death of me.

Blood and ink stain the walls,
silently with bloodied knuckles, carry on,
hoping it's not too wrong.
You said the nights were far too long!!!.
Honey, it's just the start of it.

Oh my God!,
if only he knew.
Oh my God,
if only he knew,
if only he knew,
if only he knew.
Just stand up and scream,
the tainted clock is counting down.
You gave in to me,
would you say the nights are far too long now?
faster and...faster..
Oh my God,
oh my f****ng God!!!
The tears that stain my cheek
must me look weak,
I wear them proudly, I wear them proud.

Just stand up and scream,
the tainted clock is counting down.
You gave in to me,
would you say the nights are far too long now?
faster and ...faster
Your knife!,
my back!.
My gun!,
your head!.

Your knife!!,
my back!!!.
My gun!!,
your head!!!.

You need a doctor baby,
you scared?
You need a doctor baby,
you scared...?

You need a doctor baby,
you scared?!!!
You need a doctor baby!!!,
you scared!!!, you scared!!!,
you scared, you?!!

You need a doctor baby,
you scared?!!!

You need a doctor baby,
you scared?!!!
You need a doctor baby,
you need a doctor baby,
you scared?!!!

make me feel like i never did...

2010-12-03T16:17:00.000-08:00

I want you to make me feel like im they only boy in the world ...like im they only one you will ever love...like your the only one that noes my heart ...like im they only one that could ever love you... Because your they only one that understands.. touch my heart kiss me hold me till im nice and warm just make the cold go away make the problems go away. One kiss will make me feel right thats all it ever took to make me feel like im... alive your love is the key to all my emotions all my feelings all my desires...love me

straining the melody of my voice

2010-12-02T15:32:00.000-08:00

i listen and listen to diffrent singers but when i discovered bring me the horizon there was a dream that grew in my heart not only did oliver sykes make some of the best rock music ever heard. He also inspired me to stop giving up to stop crying and just get the f***!!! up off the ground and stand up and scream my pain,tears,fears,everything away...I wanted to express my feelings with music like oli does and now im practicing and practicing and im getting closer to my dream hopefully one day i will be as good as oli sykes...my throat hurts...lol

thank you,
oli sykes

greed

2010-12-02T15:22:00.000-08:00

dear thief,

stealing is not the way to go...it never is when you think of what you did due you think of how happy you are to have a new laptop or due you think of the pain you caused to the trust.If you feel guilty,bad,sad that you did it ...thats good it shows you at least feel the pain and care ...Hopefully you will return what does not belong to you and you will be forgiven but if you dont feel anything and your happy with yourself ...then i am truely sorry to say that...your heartless... make the right choice.

pray for plagues

2010-11-30T20:05:00.001-08:00

fly... she starts her new diet of liquor and d***! just like holly wood but laced in sick the sun goes down.. and so does she...the sun goes down and so does she... sold out the love that she had left with a cut of the throat drinks all round on her before she strolls to the moat... the sun goes down and so does she.. the sun goes down and so does she!!!... ohh...count...count your fu****! blessings!!! come on! count your blessings cause im counting every lie count your blessings cause im counting every lie...counting every lie.. christ!!! im asking you for just one thing... im asking you for just one thing..eradicate this disease...close your eyes....pray for plagues...oh lord cleans this earth and bring upon our dooms day...ohh...close your eyes pray for plagues...cleans this earth and bring dooms day she starts her new diet of liquor and d*** just like holly wood but laced in sick the sun goes down and so does she the sun goes down and so does she so clap your hands to the sound of every first born dying now watch the rivers flow with blood death will stand where life once stood...so clap your hands to the sound of every first born dying now watch the rivers turn to blood death will stand where life once stood so clap your hand to the sound of every first born dying now watch the rivers turn to blood death will stand where life once stood...close your eyes!! pray for plagues!!! cleans this earth....bring...our..dooms day...

Bring me the horizon,
pray for ...plagues

the fire...

2010-11-25T20:25:00.000-08:00

In a moment your life can change,
...for best or for the worst.
This is the truth we know,
...This is the truth we know...
...Just hold on,
...and be strong
and take this life into your hands.
...Take this life in your hands
Now that i know...,
ill never,... make the same mistakes again,
im looking on to better days.
Now watch the fire,...burn inside of me
Time and time again,...
..i wont fall
ive taken this life in my hands.
Taken this life, in my hands.
Now that i know,
ill never, make the same mistakes again,
im looking on to better days.
Now watch the fire, burn inside of me
Now watch the fire burn
...Now watch it burn
Inside of me...
Questions and answers will always be the same.
This is the truth and theres no one to blame...
Now watch it burn
Watch it burn...
...Now that i know, i will never make the same mistakes again.
Just on just be strong this is the truth that we all live
Burn
...Dont let this burn..

daddy...

2010-11-23T11:29:00.000-08:00

I know you tried...i know you tried so hard to make us happy but i guess the saying things never last forever is true....because i...lost you and i was left...alone when you look at me now its like you dont recognize me. But how could you when you were in that dark place mommy put you in...it hurt me as much as it hurt you when you look at me you smile the things i due amaze you. And in my eyes there not such big,fancy,important things but you cherish me and what i do you give me everything i want and everything i disserve you give me all the love in the world and beleave me when i say you always loved me you never gave up. I feel like youv given me everything and it kills me because ...what have i gave you...you say i dont need to give you anything but in my eyes what i have hidden deep inside my heart ill give you...i think we both have been through alott i dont know what its like to be in jail but in my world when you left it felt like...hell so ill take us somewhere we have never been ...heaven.

life now

2010-11-08T08:06:00.000-08:00

Things have finally calmed down i guess somethings good somethings bad but life is life you just have to try and fix all of your problems by yourself ...my mom once told me due good things and good things will happen too you ....so why ...did things fall apart why i dont understand i guess life is just ...life i cant realy understand it just gonna try and make the most of my life till....i die

theres a first time for everything

2010-11-05T09:31:00.000-07:00

My step dad is taking me out today actually and i find it kind of weird i guess we dont usualy hangout like just us both. But i would like to try it maybe it will be fun or realy fun im never gonna know till i experience it myself i have a feeling todays gonna be fun but mostly interesting ill get to try something new And it would be good because it will give both of us time to bond i guess some....father son time (:

hopes and dreams

2010-11-01T18:08:00.000-07:00

i want to be a pro sk8boarder just surff the pavement feeling the tencion and rush with a freaking smile on my face lol or a cheff why not. My father does it for a living and i noe how to cook im not as good as him never lol mixing foods,flavors, ingridiants, sauces its pretty sick lol or an artist i love drawing alott its awsome feels good to draw something that speaks to you me well id say animals,places,people and more. Another thing i realy wouldint mind bieng in a rock band lol im already taking classes for them maybe i can be all of them or due all of them in the future for all of you out there dont be afraid too fallow your dreams hue knows you might be the next mariah carey,justin bieber the next best tennis player or u.f.c fighter, skater, what ever you wanna be always fallow your dreams and never give up hold on to them... l8r lol

missing...you...

2010-10-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

We grew up together same birth day, same age, same thoughts things were great it was amazing mostly fun nothing but fun thats all we did just have fun it was impossible to be bored you put the biggest smile on my face you had me lauphing till i was on the floor begging you to stop. Then you would drop next to me and just lauph at me lol it was funny i never lauphed so hard in my life or felt happyer realy i miss those days i miss playing video games with you, i miss lauphing with you, i miss you kicking my butt sometimes. But things happen for a reason i guess, i just wish you never left im proud to call you my brother no one can ever take your place you will always be number 1 in my head your far away but ill always reach you were inseprible...things are okay im fine. I wish you were here though things would be different in every...way i remember when we would race to the top of the hill in central park sometimes you win sometimes i do but strangely enouph we were always tide in everything we couldint be better then one another we were equal. In all honesty when you left you took a piece of me and i took a piece of you thats why im so calm i guess you would always be calm i would be hyper allot now its only sometimes im ok with that though at least i have a piece of you in my heart i love you kevin ...my brother

till then...take care...(crying)

my life

2010-10-25T08:16:00.000-07:00

well what can i say .... nothing much to say honestly i ran out of words im breathless, .....well due you realy wanna know how my life is right now...well...i lost allot of things realy my heart, my mind, myself but then became someone better. i think the world is funny my ancestors talk of how you have to be good to go to heaven do good things and good things will happen too you i deffinetly know thats true well both are true realy i just sometimes theres a point in life were it willbring you to your knees you will bleed you will cry. I felt alott of pain in life phisical pain but i just i dont know all i can due is take out each and every knife in my body find the key to the big doors crawling bleeding crying when i find the key ...open the doors and crawl out of that place till im on the grass sun shineng on my face just knowing im ok...

changed my life forever

2010-10-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

i was hanging out with my brother fluffy and friends one of my friends took me to there school. The sk8 park was right next to the school it had one ramp, rails , stands, tables it was like 2 basketball courts long it was pretty decent i guess lol my friends were a little scared to try it out but i went for it it was fun i felt the adrenalin it felt good i felt happy for the first time in a long time. I guess i just needed to find something that use to make me happy, relaxed, to get my mind off things it felt good sk8ing i remember what that kid told me in cali when i got off my board with my friends. We just arrived to the park drive in front of wallgreens the kid looked 18 with his friend they were doing kick flips, heel flips ,laser flips, it was crazy. As he fell trying to land a kick flip he sat down with his friend he looked frusterated, hurt,tierd i can see the frustration in his eyes he looked at me and my friends with a tierd angry look and as we walked closer with our boards in our hands he said to me tierd, sweaty, frusterated he said....dont stop sk8ing i said ...what? scared ...motionless. He looked at me with his friend and said it louder ....DONT STOP SK8ING! and suddenly a insperation inside me exploded in my heart i nodded ok....and got on my sk8board and me and my friends sk8ted our hearts out till we got home that day that kid ....thank you that day changed my life forever ...thanks ....

...dont stop skating

face down...

2010-10-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

hey girl you know you drive me crazy...

one look puts a rythm in my hand...

still ill never understand why you hang around... i see whats going down.

cover up with make up in the mirror tell yourself its not gonna happen again you cry alone and she swears she loves you...

due you feel like a man when you push him around

do you feel better now as he falls to the ground? well ill tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end as your lies crumble down a new life he has found...

a pebble in the water makes a ripple effect every action in this world will bear a consequence if you wait around forever you will surely drown

i see whats going down... i see the way you go and say your right! again!!! say your right! again!!! heed my lecture!!!

due you feel like a man when you push him around... do you feel better now as he falls to the ground? well ill tell you my friend one day this world going to end as your lies crumble down a new life he has found...

face down in the dirt! he said this doesint hurt!!

he said i finally had enouph!!!

face down in the dirt!

he said this doesint hurt!!

he said i finally had enouph!!!

one day he will tell you that he has had enouph!!!

its come around again due you feel like a man when you push him around due you feel better now

as he falls to the ground? well ill tell you my friend one day this world going to end as your lies crumble down a new life he has found...

due you feel like a man when you push him around due you feel better now!

as he falls to the ground? well ill tell you my friend one day this worlds going to end as your lies crumble down a new life he has found...

face down in the dirt!!!

he said this doesint hurt!!!

he said...

I FINALLY HAD ENOUPH!!!...

nike slavery poem

2010-10-06T09:34:00.000-07:00

sticks and stones will brake our bones...

to work for a living...

to hurt...

slaves for a shoe company this injustice shall be put to an end only to bring fourth freedom and democracy.

smiles, lauphs, beautiful lands no more fear no more tears

someone cares enouph to stand up and fight with no fear just big hearts for whats right

.... we can only hope

slavery

2010-10-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

1. 1.25$ a day

2. Stessfull hard it was hard to live off 1.25$ a day and they got sick its realy stressfull.

3. They know that what nike companys is doing is wrong and nike doesint want the world to know so they are letting them out and everybody has to neglect them or face consequences most like....death.

behid the swoosh

2010-10-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

1. To make a decent living is to afford not to expensive but not to cheap decent like in the middle not too much not too little.

2. My sneakers come from a skate shop in union square called blades there nike sb for skateboarding omar salazar a profecional skateboarder desighned them for skaters like myself.

3. A sweat shop is a place where they make clothing like sweaters and shoes shirts stuff like that.

new moon...

2010-10-04T07:48:00.000-07:00

its just hard to explain....i just...
im not the boy i was before ...

....your not the girl... i fell in love with....

...things change bella....

...you changed
...you were right about one thing

...they did want me they didint take me...
... i fallowed them

bella....stay away from me...run and dont look baq
....dont come baq

...just leave
...forget ...me
...please

out going

2010-10-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

Ive been around a couple of times more often its more relaxing honestly. Quite soothing also i guess sports, letting some sweat out really does the trick clears my mind and calms me down soccer, football, skateboarding, handball, soon on winter ill be snow boarding with my brother christopher its gonna be a heck of a winter for us both lol. Just surfing the snow ive never done this before but im not scared at all above everything im stoucked thats excited in skater talk if you didint know lol. I feel like heading for hawaii and surfing the waves i heard its beautiful there i guess im going to have to find out for myself someday.

someday came suddenly

2010-09-27T07:56:00.000-07:00

Its so amazing how im improving in school not saying im not smart its simply just that im trying my hardest now. Its actualy showing it feels so great to have teachers tell me how great im doing in school and how amazing my vocabulary is my personality well it warms my heart thank you all teachers of 188 i realy truely apreciate it you truely made my day i look forward to singing, guitar, photography im glad your making my goals a reality maybe i am changing but im changing in the greatest way i have ever wanted mentally, emotionely

love

2010-09-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

...love is when two people have feelings for each other...always bieng there for each other holding each other not letting go no matter what spending time with each other honesty,commitment,love,bieng honest with your feelings bieng there for each other in the darkest times...shedding tears for the one they love never letting go letting them fall leaving them alone trying as much as you can to make her happy no matter what and with a big heart full of love running for them in there need of help no matter the reason just run...as if your life depended on it ...it always did it should holding her tell her its all going to be okay wipe the tears away kiss her gently look her in the eyes kiss her once more keep her warm hold her till they end cherish everyday with her and never...hurt her feelings even if she hurts yours...

me...

2010-09-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

As if poetry isint changing me enouph already i cant help but too be more quiet at times its astonishing really its just well ive been through so much lately .

....whats there more to say

And in all honesty what due you really want to here from me you walk up to me asking me questions but really honestly my answers gonna be something short and simple nothing much t say really i guess im just tierd of talking alott i rather due more things then talk. yes im still going to talk to anyone lol im just saying not as much as i use to cuz well thers nothing much to say and actions speak louder then words i cant realy help it well i can but i guess i kinda want this lol its nothing bad just i dont know i guess maturity ,puberty lol that doesint mean im not gonna have a fun side to myself though lol

poems

2010-09-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

funny how i changed from one person too a whole other i dont know how or why but i like this side of me but poetry is something im loving its most expresingly of my feelings its amazing how putting my feelings in a rhyming and sensitive joyful story.expressing my feelings is one of the most important things in my life if i bottle them up it leads to something bad so i express them with poetry hopefully people will love them some already due it changed me im more joyful and calm more outgoing ,free maybe even something better but i havent had the time to think about it ive been too busy expressing it.

truths and a lie

2010-09-13T08:13:00.000-07:00

This summer i went to arkansa i saw my brother kevin we had a fun time for two and a half weeks we went to the pool,i learned how to drive,met new people ,and hungout with family saying my goodbyes was hard becouse hes they only one i rely on in life ill see you again one day brother.

Home bored i grabbed my skateboard and went outside i skated the streets. It was hot and sunny i practiced tricks and jumped some curves as i sit on my skateboard too rest i wonder about how things in life are and how beautiful life is and how theres much more too life then just ...bieng sad. Then i stop for a second and realize i dont feel like myself i feel diffrent i smile as i grab my board and skate away.

Sometimes things are not what you you think they are or what you beleave they are. To be lied too through out your life ....living a lie its a horrible and painfull feeling something that can hurt someone so deeply its scary becouse you can almost feel it like a knife to the heart ...

the music instrument the drums lol

2010-06-18T06:03:00.000-07:00

well when it comes to rock music i like to listin to rock music wether its escape the fate ,vanna,bless the fall, paramore, or bring me the horizon they rock i love to listen to these bands and mostly focus on the drums in the song and with something in my hands or my hands i just fallow the drum beat its so fun lol sometimes i wish i had drums so that i can actualy practice my own beats and add lyrics and some guitare and base lol kinda like a rock band lol.

forgiveness among the ones you truly love...

2010-06-18T05:43:00.000-07:00

well my dad for the past month has been promising that hes going to see me this week and that week and just excuses excuses and it would make me sad and think he never has time for me or he doesint care about me but inside i truely know he does and suddenly i stopped feeling sad i got up and said he does care becouse at least hes in my life and still calls and asks how i am he does care and now every time he cant see me i say its cool dad dont worry with a smile.i know he works too hard and he needs to make money i understand that he has to work i mean working in a collage being everybodys favorite chef lol he made me a ham burger and wow it tasted great lol so ill always forgive him if we cant hangout (: .

wierd dream

2010-06-11T05:46:00.000-07:00

last night i had a dream my lil brother died and my cuzin by a paranormal ghost...now what freaked me out more was when i waked up it was strange my eyes were so red and they were tearing they were burnning. when i looked in the mirror it scared me stiff and ever sice ive been sieng wierd stuff around the house im scared somethings gonna happen u can say whats happening to me is something similar to a movie paranormal activity except they were dreams and sightings and some physical.

board

2010-05-14T05:41:00.000-07:00

its so boring .....still as the days pass im still board i havent been skateboarding .....its so hard but practice makes perfect but its just too hard its wayy to hard i try and try but its to hard i wont give up but its realy stressing me out i didint think it would be this hard but ....damn! lol but ama keep trying i already tuned my sk8board so its a bitt better.

life lol

2010-05-07T05:44:00.000-07:00

lifes good right now its ok lol ama buy clothes saturday so thats gonna be cool the test is over so i can kick back and relax i miss my brother but ill see him i no i will lol.i got my psp go which is awsome i got mad games for free lol and things with the family are ok and summer vacations coming up so yea lol theres these sk8s i wanna buy there like 300$ a lil expensive but only cuz there pro skates.i dont know how to sk8 but im a fast learner so ill learn the basics fast lol just gotta focus for sk8boarding im loosing it a lil but ill come back to it when im ready i like trying new extreme sports ive done sk8boarding,bmx, razor scooter,long boarding, and now sk8ing hopefully i wont break something but theres a chance i will im a risk taker...its my life i like to live it up to the extreme even if it means getting sireously hurt oh well lol.

accidents

2010-04-22T06:23:00.000-07:00

well i fell and scraped my FREAKING!!! knee lol it was funny and pain full i got a big deep cut and bruised on my knee and wow its ugly lol but its a heck of a sight lol but im ok now it just has to heal a little bit more but im ok lol.

RAGE QUIT!!!!!

2010-04-22T05:44:00.000-07:00

rage quit this game legend of zelda its awesome but like i hate it!!! ok so im going through the game and im having fun and i got three monkeys in a temple and i ......dont know what to due!!!! like i went everywhere in that freaking map i went everywhere!!! and i still dont know what to due it makes me wanna break the freaking game!!! lol well im thinking about getting a new video game system its called psp go its so small it plays videos music and pictures its awesome it plays games to and comes in two colors white and black.i want the black one i wish i had it right know at times i get board and i feel like playing or doing something in a time of boardom i can just pull it out and play video games or listen to music or watch videos or look at my pictures of family or something but yea im hoping to get one soon very very soon lol.

pets i would have

2010-04-16T05:44:00.000-07:00

monkeys cuz there funny and crazy like that,snakes cuz they are fun to wrap around your neck......until they get mad and choke you ,ferrets becouse there like long cats but can stand on two legs and they can due fun stuff like eat cereal with me with his own bowl of cereal and we can play games together and sk8board together lol,a husky becouse there mans besfriend and there fun to have around the house, monkeys,huskys,ferrets,snakes. freaking awsome pets!!! lol

tech issues

2010-04-15T06:44:00.000-07:00

1.images and information that is ok to post is like things uou due for fun like ur hobbys and ur favorite things to due.pictures of your friends and eople that you love they cant be perverted or bad.perverted pics arent ok to post nude,ur adress,phone number,ur current locations.

2.one time on myspace i put a picture of a big lollipop in my mouth and got alot of inapropriate comments.my dad has me a friend in myspace and i got in trouble for having the picture by my dad and got punished.

3.there isint theres always a way to get something or find it once its on the internet its public and everyone can see it.

4.you can post alott of things pics of you playing beer pong people can check ur info if u have a blog and they can see hue u are or what kinda person you are and yea.

lies

2010-04-08T05:48:00.001-07:00

its like everybody that was so close to me have let go well not everyone but some of them i just cant beleave this ...you lied to me and you said we were gonna be ok i didint due anything wrong i know i didint but that doesint give you the right to ignore me you dont even say hi anymore......i was on the floor knee hurting like hell it still hurts but you didint even say hi or anything i guess were not ok ....im tierd of these lies my own dad left me a few monhs ago he lied to me and i miss him but he lied to me and treated me wrong i thought he was never going act like that with me but i guess i dont know my dad like i thought i did he lied....and know my best friend lied to me....and now you especialy you why you of all people i cant beleave this.....i just cant...your making my heart hurt and im scared of dying but its like the more you hurt me the closer i get to death my heart hurts,cant breath,cant move,cant feel,......cant stay calm im scared you .........lied to me..

i thought we were frends

2010-04-08T05:42:00.000-07:00

i thought we were friends i thoght we were suppose to be there for each other i thought you cared and would never hurt me ....but i guess i was wrong ........i dont know whats happening or why your not talking to me but im just tierd of these lies im just tierd,scared,hurt,abandoned, crushed,heart broken we were suppose to be friends till they end you told me to hold on and i did i held on but .....you didint so you can stay ....but im leaving....im sorry

Bottled Water Vs. Tap Water

2010-03-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

1. becouse its more cleaner and bottled and cold and stored.
2.its filtered.they through it in a hole and it stays there.
3.stop buying botteled water and protest.

why.....

2010-03-17T16:22:00.000-07:00

its just soo stressfull how i cant find what i want i just get hurt everyday i dont know how much of this i can take i get let down ,hurt,betrayed, i dont know anymore i feel soo bad everyday i can never be happy if there is something caled a good day please god just let me have one i wish i could drift disapear into my own world but sadly i cant i try to i close my eyes and hope that when i open them im somewhere where im happy but i open them and all i see is this place called home but through my eyes.its not a home....its a jail a depressing jail i feel inprisoned like i cant get out i try to get out but i cant it sometimes hurts and te stress makes me panic and its too much to take in i cant breath and i start turnining blue and my heart starts squeezing and i cant breath i cant move when i try too it hurts even more it feels like im dying and i get flash backs of when i was little and happy but as i stare at the cieling i lay on the floor and look at the ceiling and stay currled up trying to take deep breaths to calm my heart down but it helps soo little but i try to relax so i can stay alive but i dont know how much i can take....

mellow

2010-03-05T06:07:00.000-08:00

i feel like when i come to school i think hey maybe if i stay chill then the rest of my day will go smooth but it doesint and it gets mest up and just STRESS all this stress builds up and i get exausted like cant i ever have a day where im freaking mellow all day please gosh it sint to much to ask for...

things ive always wanted to due

2010-03-04T06:36:00.000-08:00

1. ive always wanted to skateboard around for one day in a bunny costume and due crazy cool tricks and look funny at the same time lol. 2. play in as a rock singer slash guitarest in a band 3. go snow boarding 4. ride an a.t.v in arkansa without a licenses or no papers if i ge stoped 5. sk8 the world and all the good spots or due that with the nike skateboarding crew. 6. go to a house party and get soo crazy i wake up the next day on the floor not remembering a thing lol '(done that already) lol 7. due crazy stunts and film them 8. jump a mega ramp cant think of any more but theres alott lol some are inapropriate for young viewers soo yea lol.

situations

2010-03-04T06:32:00.000-08:00

theres always gonna be problems and problems and from what ive learned if you are sad and depresed or mad and angry honestly the best thing to due is confront that person about it or just fix the problem your self.But bieng sad about it isint right just tlk to them about the problem dont avoide it thats what i did but then i confronted my problems.

surprise

2010-02-05T05:49:00.000-08:00

well i woke up this morning and didint want to get up soo my mom came out of nowhere telling me if i get up she has a surprise for me so im thinking my wii but idk if shes that nice to due something like that for me soo im hoping but i think shes not that nice well ill see...

rock and jock days

2010-02-04T05:57:00.000-08:00

well on sunny days i like to grab my sk8board and my ipod and listen too rock! and just sk8 the world i dont care where as long as im having fun i think rock music and skateboarding is the best idea ever lol.with my new vanz i cant wait for the summer im going to sk8 in california the best place to sk8 i shold know ive sk8ted there.

stuff

2010-02-04T05:48:00.000-08:00

well my b day passed lol i had a good time it was fun i was suppose to get me a nintendo wii but couldint had to wait and excuses excuses i got tierd of them took 100$ dollars that my dad gave me to save up for it and went buying i bought me cloths and a pair of sneakers there vanz.there for skateboarding went home ate and relaxed thats all i did for my birth day lol

nothing much realy...

2010-01-28T05:51:00.000-08:00

well nothing much has happened realy things are ok with the family and friends but well things are ok and well right now im aiting for my money so i can buy my selfsomething well its birthday money and other then that not much realy so yea.

so board with life

2010-01-21T06:35:00.000-08:00

i don know my life LIFE is boring i need to feel again but nothing seems to work but deep inside i know that they only thing that can give my life some fun in it is.SKATE BOARDING its they only way out from this dark hole it feels good when you land a trick just going fast gives you a rush but i need that rush orelse im never going to be happy and right now skateboardings my only option.

my b day

2010-01-21T05:57:00.000-08:00

well its my birth day lol and im 15 it kinda feels wierd it feels like i woke up and just found out that my birth days today but i dont know something today doesint feel right my dad didint call maybe he was sleeping maybe he wasent i dont know and i had a wierd dream and i only see this person in my dream rearly i think somethings wrong i dont know and i dont want to find out at the moment i feel bizzare...

good times

2010-01-14T06:09:00.000-08:00

ive been noticing a change well lets call it a chain reaction its wierd like im having good days in my life then something at a certain time in my life has to go wrong i hate it then i have bad days then good days well its normal and you cant always have good days.But i want to find a way to make that possible to have good days and a happy life although it may be impossible i want to to at least try.but well right now in my life things are going good and my birth day is coming up im excited i cant wait lol im going to be fifteen lol.my dad said he was gonna give me ALOT of money! to shop aand stuff i love shoping i dont know why like its so addictive i love shoping i due it every week lol.but what i realy want for my birth day is a nintendo wii lol i realy dnt need clothes but 15 t shirts and 7 pears of jeans wont hurt if i still have left over money lol things are great dads working hard has two jobs and is getting paid good and im doing better in school my mom is ok and non stressed finally and well yea things are good.finally hope fully it will stay that way....

waiting

2010-01-08T06:06:00.000-08:00

kinda just feel like just .......living just keep on with my life but...i cant wait im getting unpatint i cant wait any longer i need to find her or her to find.....ME i dont know i think about her and wonder if she wil ever find me or if i will hopefully meet her one day i realy due i just want to meet her so badly.......it hurts i guess i should keep waiting...

...

2010-01-08T05:53:00.000-08:00

why is it that i cant quite make her happy i dont know why i feel like she disserves someone more better then me someone hue can have fun with her thats always gonna be by her side and love her well i hope she finds that guy cuz i dnt think i can please her and well its killing me how i cant.i cant take this anymore i feel so bad and sad when she walks up to me and she looks at me and says lets play but i kinda dont feel like it like i rather sit and thinik about stuff then play some dumb 4th grader game like im sorry but i kinda just feel like sitting down and thinking im sorry...and she leaves rolling her eyes and sighs and im sitting there with a frown on my face and my hearts tearing up inside feels like spiked black chains around my heart are crushing it and getting tighter around my heart tering the skin and piercing the very skin my heart has spilling the blood leaving me in pain and my feelings are in soo much pain i feel like walking out and just leaving im sorry...

that girl

2009-12-15T21:06:00.001-08:00

i love you i kiss you i tell you i love you and you look at me and say it to my ears and the words swim in my head down to my heart and it grows warm and big about to burst with the love i want to show you give to you but then you leave me and break our future our plans our daughter and well us and my heart you filthy thief i hate you im not going over there anymore im sorry i dont just want to be friends with you i want to love you but you took my heart crushed it and i grabed it just in time to save it i saved my heart from tearing in half as the love pours out of my heart half ripped i pick it up and with no regret pour your memorys your kisses and love and you out until my hearts left with nothing except the new me and i thank you for letting me go it was kind of a good thing although i hate you i never want to see you again i cut off every single connection to you im sorry but your never gonna hear from me again you filthy thief i hope you have a great life but i know no other man can love you like i did and if they could then wow good for you i hate you dispize you i dont regret bieng with you becouse you made me into some one nice kind loving caring and i thank you but you remained horrible jelous becouse i loved other girls as not friends but family sisters and you got jelous and you kept a little ball of hatred in you against me and it grew and grew till you became this horrible ugly thing of a moster inside your body you lied to me and broke my heart but im ok and you no what its your loss you always did make stupid choices and well you were imature and i wasent soo it doesint matter bye forever...

strength

2009-12-15T20:53:00.000-08:00

well my heart got broken and i was depressed but for a week and well shes dead to me soo im moving on she was holding me back from persuing my dreams to going to california or going places that i can accomplish things more possibilitys more dreams more things,goals and now well its over she broke me but i still have my pride my honor and thank goodness ME i still have me and well im becoming more of that person i wanted to be its great (: it gows to show i dont need her.i can finally due what i want im free and i feel great and shes out of the way soo once i pass grade im off to persue my education be happy and keep going with my dream of bieng a skateboarder or a chef or a singer in a band i dont know i always thought i could do it well i can and well wouldint hurt to try right? lol dnt answer that but i mean im ok now but im still kinda sad how i still have i think six or more months till school ends and i cant take it i dont think i cant wait i just want to leave soo badly but ill wait to be honest i just want to buy the ticket and leave realy i do but i cant but its just puts me to tears and sadness and well they only thing that keeps me beleaving or alive is the thought of how happy id be over there with my family over there with my grandma and grandpa and aunt and uncles i miss them soo much i love them soo much they are keeping me alive there the reason im trying hard in school to pass so i can leave im leaving and im going to be happy and im not looking back and no ones going to take this away from me.

well things are straight now

2009-12-13T08:17:00.000-08:00

well...so as some of you know some things happened in school and things happened at home i kinda don't want to talk about it but things are ok now and i am going to make damn good sure they stay that way something happened that kinda struck me with pain and missery but lets just say that my path is cleared of distractions and well i can focus more and know i can go places without bieng held back so im ok now i just need to recover and keep doing what im doing now bieng good im glad its all over...

memorys

2009-12-05T19:13:00.000-08:00

i remember when i would hangout with my uncle and we would have soo much fun and i would make the whole family lauph and my uncles friends gosh they would tell me that im soo funny and hold me and tell me they love me then inside of me i would feel a small light in my heart grow bigger and BIGGER!! and my heart would make me see things in the best ways that could be seen through the naked eye i was soo happy in california i had the bestest friends they were like brothers but i never told them that if i could go back now i would tell them how much they mean to me and how they truely are like brothers to me and how much i love them god i miss them and i miss working at the taco van sounds cheesy but i dont care what you think :p it would be so fun and i would actualy have a good time and my grandfather would pay me like 50 bucks and i would be breath less but happy becouse i urned it and i earned the thought that he doesint think im a hard worker but that i am a hard worker and i get the job done and i try my heart out i miss the partys the lauphing the getting together at random times,days and just going to the back yard and lauphing partying and having a good time i miss the sunny weekends alone just waking up slipping on my shoes grabbing my skateboard and just blowing the stress away and just skateboarding in peace and lonely ness but i wouldint care it would be the best just to get out and relax by skateboarding having fun and just having a good weekend by skating with friends or just alone i miss going to jack in the box at like freaking 12:00 pm at night just to eat lol i know were crazy but it wouldint even be dangerous becouse of how of a good naighborhood i live in its great no violence no nothing but i guess some naighbors were scared bucouse my uncles are well were gang members and well still kinda look like gang members lol but na there good people you just have to get to no them there actualy pretty awsome there like brothers too me i miss everything i miss it all i wish i could leave over there right now...

wow here we go AGAIN!!!

2009-12-05T18:59:00.001-08:00

like what is wrong with my life like all of a sudden it just got calm and happy and good and now its just falling apart my family's falling apart but i never realy considered my family a family becouse how my dad doesint live with us or how he's just not in the picture you no its like why i ask my self why my life ended up like this just why i feel like braking down and just giving up and just cry my self to sleep everyday its horrible they only thing that keeps me alive and beleaving is the thought in how i should never give up to keep trying till i get what i want and i wont stop until im finally happy but right now im not happy im sad im down i want to give up i want to cry my eyes out and i just don't know what to due every things getting effed up again i cant take it im gonna brake im going to i can feel it i swear if this goes on or if this problem gets bigger im going to explode with anger and i just wont be able to control myself i want to NEED!! TO! get the heck!!! out of here i cant take it i need to leave to california and live with my grandma in california i have it all happyness good friends sunny days and a job working with my grandma and well family and i consider my family in california to be a real family not this fake nothing ignorant piece of nothingness family i have in new york sure your my mother but you dont feel like one to me m sorry but its the truth and i dont think that will ever change i hate you i love my grandma like a mother i never had and i miss her soo much i miss you mom ).; i just cant take it i need to leave right now ill do anything whatever it takes just get me the hell!! out of here PLEASE I BEGG OF YOU!!! with every tear i have every hope and little happness in me that i have left save me i cant take it anymore get me out of here!!!.

life

2009-12-04T05:43:00.000-08:00

life is kinda good i guess when i just thought things were going horrible they actualy turned up good my dad called me and he told me how i was and how he got me my christmas present already he said it was 300$ and i was thinking what did he get me!!! i dont know but for it to be 300$ is wowsers lol but.he said i was going to like it soo much and that just kinda got me thinking through the rest of the day im glad he called and made things better.then...i decided to write to my best friend bregan that i havent talked to in a long time i just realy needed someone to talk to realy badly and i missed her so i senther a message on myspace and i sighned off when i least expected it i got a message that says i got a message in my myspace inbox so i checked it out and it was bregan surprised as i was she said hi i missed you too we should talk and catch up with a smily face at the end of her paragraph but she always does that then i wrote yea we should and i gave her my number and she gave me hers and i said hey ill call you tomarrow and she said yea with a smily face again but she always does that lol then i guess that realy made my day i cant wait to talk to her again and see my dad i missed them both and i realy want to see them so things are ok now (: .

california

2009-12-03T06:27:00.000-08:00

i miss california i wish i could go back i miss the sunny skyes the palm trees the good sunny days it just feels good being there i miss it alot i wish i could just buy the air plane ticket and just leave im tierd of new york its just soo depressing here i want to go back to L.A i wish i could leave.

thoughts...

2009-12-03T05:44:00.000-08:00

well last night i was trying to go to sleep but i couldint i tried so hard but i couldint so many thoughts were racing through my mind it was unbeleaveable i just couldint sleep i was thinking soo much about how my life is soo boring and how it could be better but it isint it made me so damn sad like wow i just want to get out of here so badly i just want to leave... like why are things soo hard its not fare but what can i realy due so at 10:00 to 12:00 i thought about my life and how i can possibly want it to be easy and calm and fun but i just couldint think it through until finaly i said you no what im just going to live my life what ever comes my way ill just deal with it then i fell asleep hopefully things will get better though...

everything right now

2009-12-02T18:51:00.000-08:00

well everything right now is going great things are okay but i cant help but to notice or wonder that why cant my life be a little bit more exciting then it is boring and normal i want something more fun in my life like well i kinda was having something in mind like hanging out with friends after school even though i already do that like i want to go skateboard or to go see stores well nobody is stooping me from doing these things its just that.its this area i live in its so depressing like i want to live somewhere where i can go out side hangout without me being afraid of getting stab to death or something like that like seriously like cant i live in a better naighborhood well i don't know but im leaving to california becouse its perfect over there its the perfect place for me to be happy in i have a great naighborhood and every,things great its always sunny over there its great (: but i need to pass this grade to go so im going to try my heart out so i can be happy becouse nothing comes easy you either have to work hard for it or your just lucky well i kinda am lucky but this time i have to try hard and i will...

best cuzins

2009-11-19T05:54:00.000-08:00

wow my cuzins there awsome i love them like wow there like brothers too me there the best first awsome cuzin is kevin hes funny crazy quiet but dnt get him mad cuz he does no how to fight he almost fought with my cuzin alex not cool but oh well kevins the best then theres trini hes awsome hes calm cool and i look up to him hes my bog brother he has alot of money he works hard and at the end of the day hes calm and cool hes never stressed or mad or anythinhg hes soo awsome i kinda want to be like him even though bieng a players something i dont want to be i dnt treat women like that but hes still awsome.then theres trinis brother miguel hes cool too there both around 18 or 16 i dnt noe lol but hes cool hes mad funny and makes me lauph all the time like hes not funny hes halerious hes soo funny he made me cry lol but hes funny cool and strong like trini but icant tel hues stronger they both have six packs there ripped lol there both cool then there little brother ema hes cool too hes 8 hes funny hes retarded sometimes he does dumb stuff its funny he did party boy to some guy in the street it was funny as heck lol but i love all my brothers there the best i dont noe what id due without them.

fever

2009-11-13T05:47:00.000-08:00

aww you have no idea wat im going through right now i have fever it sucksssssss soo badly aww it feels like im in mount everis and im in a steamy spicy mexican soup and im at the top of the mountain and its soo cold but im hott ): it sucks anyways ill try not to pass out in school hopefully i dont get realy hurt ugh k see you later !achu! lol.

things are OK

2009-11-10T07:38:00.000-08:00

ok soo basically i am ok i dont need to feel down becouse of some people there are always gonna be people in the world that u think there sweet and caring then one day they completely change and bring you down like i dont even no ...... any more i dont realy care but things are gonna be ok with me becouse i dont care about you anymore you can try too bring me down but im not going down your nothing too me at least now your nothing soo leave me alone becouse im happy.

modern warfare 2

2009-11-10T07:27:00.000-08:00

lol i got the game haha its home i got the special eddition modern war fare 2!!! yeaaa lol cant wait too go home andplay it once im done playing it ama go online and face everybody that ha s this game.this game is the GAME!! OF!!! THE!! YEAR!! and i have it and in SPECIAL!!! ADDITION!!! im soo hype right now i cant wait too play it lol (X

published by,

husky,

a.k.a shadow

relationships

2009-11-10T07:10:00.000-08:00

well what can i tell you sometimes having a girl friend is bad sometimes its good for me having a girl friend i think its good becouse im the kind of person that wants too care for someone and love someone i want them to return the ove back too love me too make me happy but sometimes that someone can hurt your feelings by saying something thats soo small and makes you soo hurt and sad this has happened too me alot when someone says they love you but the next day she treats you like nothing trash she disapoints you makes you miserable then you wonder why cant things ever go right or why does this always happen too me why due i get hurt by stupid words that come out of her mouth that are soo inocent and small and hurtfull when my feelings get hurt i just fall apart i cant see right i get soo depressed and i feel like crying and i start too burn up inside and i want too make it go away but i cant and it sucks well guess what happened today the same stuff that i just talked about i got my feelings hurt i dont want this anymore if this person realy cared shed make me feel better talk to me about the problem so we can risolve the problem but sometimes that kind of person the sweet kind so caring person is soo hard too find and if that person keeps hurting me then im sorry but i just dont want too get hurt anymore and i no theres someone else out there that can make me happyer then you ever can soo im sorry but i cant due this anymore when i get hurt i fall apart.

style

2009-11-09T08:44:00.000-08:00

well i dont know if you have seen me when i was in 6th grade in p.s 188 but i looked bad realy bad like i would wear baggy clothse it looked soo bad and the thing that bothered me is that i thought i looked good but i didint now i know.Why people would stare at me and look at me all wierd and i would start to wonder why they look at me funny well i found the answer it was the way i dressed and my look my apperance i looked soo bad its not even funny, well it kinda is but whatever lol but then one day my cuzin introduced me to skiney jeans that day i started looking diffrent and going into the style more.Then i cut my hair becouse it looked bad and i used hair gell i threw that stuff away and made my hair short and kinda rockish kinda look and i started buying more clothse that was more into the style i bought skiny jeans and tight t,shirts and stuff that was basically tight and colorfull and casual and i changed more then i thought i would i changed my look but most surprising i changed myself i went from mest up, bad looking, sad, too ok looking ,calm,happy and i started bieng more nicer too people.surprisingly enough even i started feeling more comfturble in my own body bieng myself bieng someone people can trust being ok ok to hang out with making good friends bieng a good person i changed and i like who ive become im happy bieng myself and i wouldint change for nothing.

huskys

2009-11-06T07:38:00.000-08:00

i cant help it i love huskys thiere my favorite dogs there soo kind and smart and evrything about them i love my favorite husky color would be a black and white husky with sky blue eyes i want one soo badly.

christmas

2009-11-06T07:20:00.000-08:00

christmas is coming up and i love christmas i like getting free stuff this christmas is going too be awsome i dont no wat it is but when christmas comes around i get this feeling its the christmas spirit i guess it just brings joy and happynes to me watching the snow fall from the sky its soo magical too bad santas not real or i dont no if he was real i would love too meet him but other then that this christmas is gonna be magical i can feel it im going to one of my favorite places ive been here on christmas before and its just a magical place its the manhatten mall i like how they put the huge christmas tree in there i wonder how they got it in there its soo huge it has alot of cool stores im gonna buy my present there is a game stop there im gonna but it there its gonna be awsome (:.

vacation

2009-09-25T07:15:00.000-07:00

ive been realy stressed out lately and i dont no what too due about it anymore like i have soo many problems right now with my girl friend too much stress i need a vacation sireously i due im so freaking stresses i have some white hairs on the back of my head from the damn stress awwww!!!!! i hate it shes just stressin me and i hate it i need a vacation bottom line if i dont go on a vacation im going to snap im going to loose it i want to go to L.A i no ill relax over there for sure hopefully ill go.....hopefully.

my life right now

2009-09-22T07:24:00.000-07:00

well my life right now is good i got my new cell phone thats wats making it good im skateboarding alot nd thats making me realy happy i love skateboarding but ehh still think my life could be way better wayyy better im still trying my hardest to change my behavior and actions and well me im working on bieng nicer to others and caring for others more then me but other than that nothing news not happening yet...

sensitive

2009-09-22T07:10:00.000-07:00

well ive noticed that im a little more sensitive i dnt no how or why but the smallest insults could hurt me sometimes but what i dont understand is how i came to be this way its strange before i wasent sensitive but i wasent touph either i was normal but it just bothers me how im sensitive i hate it i get hurt more often and i hate it i hate it soo much i just want to be normal not too sensitive or touph but normal i want to be normal again.

my goals

2009-09-18T07:23:00.000-07:00

well i want to be a chef like my dad hes realy good at that and i like cooking too its fun and i want to due grafiti cuz i can draw good and yea i want to explore the world and skate in diffrent places yea i want to be a realy good skateboarder skate boardings one of my top dreams i love skateboarding and it makes me happty when im sad if i can skate like ryan sheckler or rodney mullen i think id be the happyest man alive i love skateboarding lol.

kick flip

2009-09-18T07:14:00.001-07:00

place both feet on the board the left one on the bolts of the top of the board with ur foot slightly out and then ur right foot on the tail then bend ur knees straight then pop the tail and slide ur foot out towards the dent on the board and flick then it will cause your board to spin 360 when it starts to spin keep ur feetout of the way until u see the grip tape under you and stom and catch the board and skate away kick flips one of the hardest tricks not the hardest but its difficult and need to ollie good and high if u want to master kick flip me myself can flip the board but i cant land it i struggle with this move alot but practise makes perfect im getting there need more practise.