nothing much realy...

well nothing much has happened realy things are ok with the family and friends but well things are ok and well right now im aiting for my money so i can buy my selfsomething well its birthday money and other then that not much realy so yea.

so board with life

i don know my life LIFE is boring i need to feel again but nothing seems to work but deep inside i know that they only thing that can give my life some fun in it is.SKATE BOARDING its they only way out from this dark hole it feels good when you land a trick just going fast gives you a rush but i need that rush orelse im never going to be happy and right now skateboardings my only option.

my b day

well its my birth day lol and im 15  it kinda feels wierd  it feels like i woke up and just found out that my birth days today but  i dont know something today doesint feel right my dad didint call maybe he was sleeping maybe he wasent i dont know and i had a wierd dream and i only see this person in my dream rearly i think somethings wrong i dont know and i dont want to find out at the moment i feel bizzare...

good times

ive been noticing a change well lets call it a chain reaction its wierd like im having good days in my life then something at a certain time in my life has to go wrong i hate it then i have bad days then good days well its normal and you cant always have good days.But i want to find a way to make that possible to have good days and a happy life although it may be impossible i want to to at least try.but well right now in my life things are going good and my birth day is coming up im excited i cant wait lol im going to be fifteen lol.my dad said he was gonna give me ALOT of money! to shop aand stuff i love shoping i dont know why like its so addictive i love shoping i due it every week lol.but what i realy want for my birth day is a nintendo wii lol i realy dnt need clothes but 15 t shirts and 7 pears of jeans wont hurt if i still have left over money lol things are great dads working hard has two jobs and is getting paid good and im doing better in school my mom is ok and non stressed finally and well yea things are good.finally hope fully it will stay that way....

waiting

kinda just feel like just .......living just keep on with my life but...i cant wait im getting unpatint i cant wait any longer i need to find her or her to find.....ME i dont know i think about her and wonder if she wil ever find me or if i will hopefully meet her one day i realy due i just want to meet her so badly.......it hurts i guess i should keep waiting...

...

why is it that i cant quite make her happy i dont know why i feel like she disserves someone more better then me someone hue can have fun with her thats always gonna be by her side and love her well i hope she finds that guy cuz i dnt think i can please her and well its killing me how i cant.i cant take this anymore i feel so bad and sad when she walks up to me and she looks at me and says lets play but i kinda dont feel like it like i rather sit and thinik about stuff then play some dumb 4th grader game like im sorry but i kinda just feel like sitting down and thinking im sorry...and she leaves rolling her eyes and sighs and im sitting there with a frown on my face and my hearts tearing up inside feels like spiked black chains around my heart are crushing it and getting tighter around my heart tering the skin and piercing the very skin my heart has spilling the blood leaving me in pain and my feelings are in soo much pain i feel like walking out and just leaving im sorry...